I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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