Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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