My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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