I'm drive I can fine osifer
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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