He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize