i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize