and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize