There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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