I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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