you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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