i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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