And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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