All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize