apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
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Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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