I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize