i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize