I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
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Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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