I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize