Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize