i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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