I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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