i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
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He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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