idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize