i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize