unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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