I just cut my nipple shaving
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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