Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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