I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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