i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
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Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm really busy with my period
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