well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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