Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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