I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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