if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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