i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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