If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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