Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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