I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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