i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize