my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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