Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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