so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
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there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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