if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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