Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize