how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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