when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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