At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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