I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize