the day after is always just damage control
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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