Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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