I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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