his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
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He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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