I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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